As I sit here once again to beeping machines, call bells, treatments and vests. My heart is breaking for a family that I never met, her name was Chloe and she's 13!! The same age as Lynsey and at the age of Jonathan she received a lung transplant because of CF. Today she gained her wings against the 13 year battle against this horrible disease. She passed away in her moms arms..... Looking on her moms FB page at the things she posted to her mom and how much love she has for her, will be there forever.
I sit here broken but relieved and scared all at the same time. I wonder everyday.... When will be the day, that one of my children will inhale a bacteria or virus that may destroy their lungs. I sit here in the hospital beside my son who's fighting against a virus in his lungs and watching how strong he is against infection in his lungs trying to take over, I watch him battle against fevers of 104 and I am relieved that he isn't worse. I hate this disease, it has no control or it doesn't play favorites. Every person that has it is strong, so why do some pass away so young and others don't! No one understands the love and fear of seeing their child sick. But CF moms are faced with this disease every morning we wake up, no days off, no holidays... We in the back of our mind, with every cough, we think, is today that day? So everyday I choose to love unconditionally with every breathe in me. I know God knows and it's all in his control. I just can't understand the pain I feel everyday seeing this disease take another life. A disease that my kids carry because I gave it to them. Life isn't fair. I just pray and try to live everyday to the fullest because none of us really know when our time has ended. So live life to its fullest. Hugs and love those around you!!!
